Valentine is few days away, but I cannot smell the usual stifling aroma in the air.
Many shops are not well stocked with Valentine cards, roses, presents
and other items as was the case in the past. I guess sellers do not want
to stock items they are not sure of selling, or maybe importers had no
foreign exchange to import such non-essential items, or the cost of
importation is prohibitive. It is the sign of the time. This opens a
window of opportunity for local manufacturers. Nigerians are ingenious; I
am sure over time they will fill the gap somehow.
The last Christmas should have given people an idea of the kind of
Valentine day to expect. Hampers and Christmas gifts did not fly around.
I managed to get only one hamper. Even ordinary diaries and calendars,
which used to be a nuisance to me because of the quantity I received,
did not flow this time around. I managed to get only one each.
But I am not alone; that was the lot of many people during the last
Christmas, including my Oga of 30 years (he will not like his name in
print, so I am withholding it due to self-preservation. I want to
continue enjoying amala and ewedu with fresh fish, flushed down with red
wine and Columbian or Ethiopian coffee, not forgetting the camaraderie,
anytime I visit him.
Our reunion is also always a temporary get away from the prevailing
socioeconomic situation). After our meal two weeks ago, I asked for
perfume as usual to kill the stubborn enduring smell of the food on my
hand; there was none. Very strange, but on my last visit, he fished out a
Hugo Boss and then told me the story behind the absence of perfume two
weeks earlier.
For the past 10 years, he never bought a perfume; he always got them as
gifts. But for over a year now, including the last two Christmases,
sources of supply had been drying up, so were his stock. The Hugo Boss
we used was actually bottom pot (the last perfume in stock). In my
presence, he called one of his “suppliers” and queried him why he did
not send the usual Christmas gift of perfume. The supplier replied that
he heard my oga has developed a skin condition (you can call it
recession) that reacts adversely to perfumes. Being a very caring
person, he decided to stop giving him perfumes as gifts, so as not to
aggravate the skin condition.
Seriously speaking, as February 14 approaches, Nigerians, especially
wives and wives-to-be must learn not to take it too seriously.
Everything cannot be fundamental and some things cannot be fundamental
all the time. For instance, you should not celebrate Valentine with
borrowed money; neither should you celebrate Valentine like a 1.3cc
engine vehicle going at 150 miles per hour. If you must, celebrate your
Valentine however you see am. Many years from now, some of us will
remember 2017, and say “there was a Valentine.” In any case, if
Valentine means so much to you, you will have many more to celebrate in
future.
This Valentine is a test for the wives-to-be. This year’s Valentine will
be a foretaste of the “for better, for worse” and “for richer, for
poorer” vows you will take later. Are you going to be considerate and
flow with time or you will insist on a lavish celebration, even if it is
economically stupid? Will you call off the relationship because he
cannot buy that expensive gift you requested for? Will how he celebrates
this valentine with you shape your relationship henceforth? The answers
are pretty simple, only that we like complicating matters.
In my household, my children are coming up with their suggestions on how
to celebrate. My eldest daughter wants a Valentine cake, my youngest
son wants a family night out. Thankfully, he did not specify it should
be in a Chinese restaurant. These days, it costs an arm and a foot for a
large family to eat there. My wife has been taciturn, knowing she is
married to an “unromantic” man. On my part, I sit don dey look. Somehow,
somehow, ogoro (frog) must jump.
I remember those pre-GSM days before my office got a Multilinks phone
for N144,000 (plenty of money in those days; Naira was about 21.89 to a
US dollar). We used to go and queue at NITEL, Ikeja GRA, to make calls.
On Valentine days, it was always hilarious. A lady called her lover and
said, “Alhaji, I know you are with another woman, that is why you are
dodging me.” Before nko? How do you expect him to be with you on
Valentine day when he has his harem and probably other lovers he
cherished more?
A concubine must know her position in the hierarchy. Another caller, a
man, with very neat, but worn-out clothes, was pleading with the man on
the other end to leave his wife alone. Now that was not funny. From his
looks and clothes, he had fallen on bad times and the wife had probably
taken refuge in another man’s arms to get financial succour. Whether she
was also getting emotional succour was not apparent to me, but I
sympathized with the poor guy.
Valentine day is a day of reckoning for lovers, especially the
unmarried. That is when you know where you stand in the relationship.
For bachelors and spinsters, if your fiancé (e) or boyfriend/girlfriend
goes on AWOL (disappears) on Valentine day, know you are hanging on to
the scrappy end of the stick. If you like, believe the trailer-load of
lies and excuses that will follow thereafter.
I know a couple of married people who were born on February 14, but I do
not expect them to celebrate their birthdays or Valentine. They
scarcely celebrated their birthdays when the wood was green (the economy
was relatively better). Now that the wood is brown (recession), you can
imagine. One of them does not even remember his birthday, so you can
imagine where Valentine celebration stands in his priority list, that
is, if it is in the list at all.
Truth be told, many married men do not care about Valentine day. They
only did in their bachelor days when their “preys” were still outside
their snares. Now that they are in, it is game over. Only some truly
romantic ones take Valentine celebration seriously. The other groups of
married men who celebrate Valentine are those who want peace in the home
and those who will do anything “just to make madam happy.” Others who
can get away with not celebrating it unscathed simply do so. But for the
unmarried, go out there and have fun within your financial capacity and
in an atmosphere of God’s love.
Source:vanguard
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